The future is here....almost

How can I get this? Samsung debuts the Jet, a new cell phone using 3-D gesture based holograms. Screw the cell phone, give me the holograms!

via Gizmodo:
Designed by Korean firm D'strict, the tech is a combination of infrared motion sensing and 3D imagery, pretty much like Microsoft's Project Natal. It's not quite as seamless as Natal, but given that it's main purpose is just to add a little flash to a cellphone announcement, we're awfully impressed—and distracted. Check out the video below for a clip of one of the announcements, and you'll see what we mean. [Fast Company]

Samsungmobile Jet making film from d'strict on Vimeo.

Sometimes, change is not for the better?

Why, Darwin, why?? You never quite viewed evolution like this before...

via Wired.com

10 Worst Evolutionary Designs
By David Wolman Email 20 hours ago

1 Sea mammal blowhole. Any animal that spends appreciable time in the ocean should be able to extract oxygen from water via gills. Enlarging the lungs and moving a nostril to the back of the head is a poor work-around.

2 Hyena clitoris. When engorged, this "pseudopenis," which doubles as the birth canal, becomes so hard it can crush babies to death during exit.

3 Kangaroo teat. In order to nurse, the just-born joey, a frail and squishy jellybean, must clamber up Mom's torso and into her pouch for a nipple.

4 Giraffe birth canal. Mama giraffes stand up while giving birth, so baby's entry into the world is a 5-foot drop. Wheeee! Crack.

5 Goliath bird-eating spider exoskeleton. This giant spider can climb trees to hunt very mobile prey. Yet it has a shell so fragile it practically explodes when it falls? Well, at least it can produce silk to make a sail. Oh, wait — it can't!

6 Shark-fetus teeth. A few shark species have live births (instead of laying eggs). The Jaws juniors grow teeth in the womb. The first sibling or two to mature sometimes eat their siblings in utero. Mmm ... siblings.

7 Human stomach. People can digest a lot — except for cellulose, the primary component of plant matter. Why don't we have commensal bacteria in our guts to do it? They're busy helping termites.

8 Slug genitalia. Some hermaphroditic species breed by wrapping their sex organs around each other. If one of said members gets stuck, the slug simply chews it off. What. The. Hell?

9 Quadrupeds. Let's say you're a four-footed animal. Now let's say you get a wound on your back, or an itch, or a bug wandering up there. Tough luck, kid. You probably can't do much about it. Hope there's a low branch around.

10 Narwhal tusk. The unicorn-like protuberance on a male narwhal's head is actually a tooth that erupts through the front of the jaw and keeps on growing, up to 9 feet. Narwhal: "Doc, I have a toothache." Dentist: "Indeed."

UFC Badasses

To be fair, this is UFC 2. It was a little different then, more style vs style instead of MMA. Here we have the quarter finals, where it was Karate vs. Karate. Kind of.

Cats: Ninjas of the Animal Kingdom

And by ninja, apparently this cat was modeling himself after Chris Farley, in Beverly Hills Ninja. Watch this for 2 seconds of humor, and an eternity of shame for this cat.

Happy Birthday Nikola Tesla

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VIA CRACKED.com

Nikola Tesla

Thomas Edison was a cranky American asshole who was sort of involved with the invention of the light bulb. Nikola Tesla was a crazy Serbian who was instrumental in harnessing electric power. Also, he blew shit up with lightning.

Nikola Tesla: Mad Scientist

Celibate, yet surprisingly doable.

Nikola Tesla came to America from Croatia (but was ethnically Serbian) with four pennies, a few poems and a blueprint for a flying machine (that was never built) in 1884. However, by 1900, he'd just about single-handedly harnessed the power of electricity. Tesla renovated electronic technology, inventing things such as the electrical generator, FM radio, remote control, robots, spark plugs, fluorescent lights and the “Tesla Coil” which is used in TV and radio transmissions. You may recognize a few things on that list as being directly responsible for everything that was awesome about life in the 20th Century.

Showing an uncommon commitment to the whole "mad scientist" thing, he was celibate, afraid of round things (that's probably why he was celibate!) and hated human hair, jewelry and anything that wasn't divisible by three. Also, he claimed to have built a “death ray” that could blow things up and some (nutty) people believe that he may have been responsible for the 1908 Tunguska Event, an explosion in Russia that was 1,000 times as powerful as the bomb dropped on Hiroshima.

After he died, J. Edgar Hoover and the FBI took away all of his personal stuff from fear of someone else building the machines and actually using them to split the world in half (we don't blame them).

War of the Currents

In 1884, Tesla got a job with Edison, and in many of their arguments, Tesla said that he could improve Edison's electricity and save him money. Edison said there was $50,000 in it for Tesla if he could do it. After months of slaving over Edison's shitty excuses for electronics, Tesla made huge improvements.

When Tesla told Edison to pay up, Edison response was: "You don't understand American humor."

Tesla got pissed and got a job working for Westinghouse (Edison's rival). Soon after, the three men got into "THE WAR OF CURRENTS!!!" *enter lightning and blazing metal music* with Westinghouse, Tesla and his Alternating Current against Edison with his Direct Currents.

Of course, Tesla was right, but because he was a shitty businessman, it didn't matter. His inventions are still being used to funnel fuck you money into the pockets of Edison's descendants. His legacy has experienced a popular resurgence in recent years, mostly by people who know him as "the guy who enabled Hugh Jackman to be killed hundreds of times in a single movie."

Amazing Feats done by Tesla

Tesla held around 700 patents in 26 countries. These include:

• Tesla Coil.
• Alternating currents.
• Robots
• Spark plugs
• Electric Arc Lamp
• Devices for X-Ray
• Bifilar coil
• Bladeless turbine

And that's not all. In 1943, the Supreme Court invalided Italian inventor Guglielmo Marconi's patents for the radio and radio equipment and giving credit to Tesla based on his patents that predated Marconi's. But, by that time, Tesla was--dead.

Tesla once predicted, "The household's daily newspaper will be printed 'wirelessly' in the home during the night". Hey! That sounds like the Internet!

Tesla turning on a lamp to read

Tesla was the first to harness the power of Niagara Falls into a hydroelectric power plant, constructed a bath designed to cleanse the human body of germs using nothing but electricity, and created a 130-foot long bolt of lightning from one of his massive coils (which remains the world record for man-made lightning). In addition he, once, caused an earthquake in New York City that was so powerful that it almost destroyed 5th Avenue (where his lab was at.)

Though, Tesla's feats keep going on and on and on and on, he remains largely overlooked and while Edison and Westinghouse have their name stamped on huge cooperations, Tesla can merely lay claim to the B list rock band.

Why to obey the law...

Why should you obey the law? Because you never know how the fuzz is going to be. Sometimes they run the straight and narrow, like this guy:

(Elliot Stabler, Law & Order: SVU)

or this guy:

(Vic Mackey, The Shield)

Other times, the line is just something they watch fade to a dot as they jump over it. Forget Kyra Sedgwick, this is the real Closer....

Good Cop, Baby Cop from Will Ferrell

How to fight....

After watching years of UFC, I have decided to also become a professional fighter. Unfortunately, I don't want to spend a lot of money or work very hard. So I have found the perfect answer. I'm going to learn to fight like Jackie Chan via instructional DVD!

How to Fight Like Jackie Chan: An Impractical Tutorial -- powered by Cracked.com

Maybe you can quit your dayjob?

I suppose you could do worse than Brad Pitt for a butler. Glad to know that he has a career to fall back on if the whole acting thing doesn't work out.

Question is, if Brad Pitt is your butler...what is Angelina?