Cartoons in real life...or learning that nagging feeling of shame.

Ok, remember back in the day, when cartoons and video games had characters that did flips every time they jumped? And it didn't seem unrealistic at all? Of course, as you grew up, it did seem a bit odd or even ridiculous. After all, when I want to go up the stairs, I always front flip up them. Or not. Well, apparently, I was wrong. You should be front flipping up them.

Funniest site...(NSFW)

Along the lines of FML, this one might be better. Texts from last night. If you are looking for a reason to not drunk dial or drunk text...or basically not get drunk this might be your reason. Of course, if you are not looking for a reason to not drink...check out the "Best Texts" section.

Are you a PC?

Quentin Tarantino does a PC ad. And by Quentin, I mean Will Ferrell and friends. Because Quentin is a little busy right now, misspelling Bastard in France.

Laptop Hunters: Jennie - watch more funny videos

A paragon of human athleticism

Ok, someone get me this guy's phone number. We need him on our softball team. There is nobody who is going to get a hit off of him....

He'd probably give up even fewer hits than Jennie Finch...


I hope he's better at the whole being mayor thing...

City Signage: How not to do it

So, FailBlog presents us with another classic. Seriously, was this guy high when he created the sign? Did someone have a 2nd grade math problem to do and had no paper? What kind of unit is this measuring? Talk about "apples to oranges"...or more like "apples to random summation of incongruous units". Good job, California, you have yourself another winner.

(image from FailBlog)

Funny or Die, not just a website

Will Ferrell returns to SNL, and in true form provides us with another Celebrity Jeopardy. I could make comments and funny quips about it, but it's better to just let it speak for itself.
Potent Potables for $200....

Where are you?

I'm in a cubicle right now. I'm sure you are either on a couch of some sort, or a desk, wasting precious bandwidth that your employer works hard to pay for. And by works hard to pay for, I mean works you like a mule to pay for. But since you're reading this blog, I can hardly think of a larger waste of time for you to do at work. Unless of course you were writing this blog. In which case you'd be me. And as I'm sitting here, sending myself into an existential headspin...I wish I was on a boat.


And for good measure...here's the live performance. Ha! It sucks to not be on a boat. Oh wait...

How to dance...

Everyone dances. In some way or some how. I would venture that most people do not dance in a form that has been recognized by the general public as "dancing well". If you need a quick primer on how to dance, here's one of the Top 3 videos on youtube. Ever.

And here, apparently, is the sequel.

Movies every guy should see

Esquire has published a list of the movies every man should see. But why be sexist, and limit it to just men? Women can watch movies too. I mean, after they finish...never mind. Anyone who would find that joke funny can complete it in their own head, and probably funnier than I can on print. And anyone who wouldn't find that joke funny....I have plausible deniability. What joke?

How many of these have you seen?

• In the Heat of the Night
• Slap Shot
• Iron Man
• Jaws
• Save the Tiger
• 12 Angry Men
• Fast Times at Ridgemont High
• Chinatown
• The Godfather
• Fitzcarraldo
• Ghostbusters
• Glory
• Wall Street
• Runaway Train
• Rosemary's baby
• North by Northwest
• LoneStar
• The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
• The Conversation
• The Thin Blue Line
• Johnny Dangerously
• The French Connection
• Miller's Crossing
• The Great Escape
• Dawn of the Dead
• Shaun of the Dead
• Hate
• First Blood
• Bottle Rocket
• Bad Day at Black Rock
• Tootsie
• Broadcast News
• The Terminator
• Shakes the Clown
• Dirty Harry
• Straw Dogs
• Raging Bull
• Citizen Kane
• The Shining
• Fatal Attraction
• The Incredibles
• Blade Runner
• Sling Blade
• Giant
• Glengarry Glen Ross
• Serpico
• Down By Law
• The Searchers
• Do the Right Thing
• Gone Baby Gone
• The Big Kahuna
• MASH
• The Verdict
• The Warriors
• Alien
• Stalag 17
• Bridge on the River Kwai
• The Misfits
• Reservoir Dogs
• The Maltese Falcon
• Dr No
• Cool Hand Luke
• The Road Warrior
• Patton
• True Romance
• Run Silent Run Deep
• All Quiet on the Western Front
• Platoon
• Caddyshack
• Hud
• Blazing Saddles
• Three Kings
• Paths of Glory
• On the Waterfront

I have seen 45 of them. Can you guess which 45? How many have you seen?

Reasons to dance....

daytime talk show style.

I suppose that all things considered, that would definitely be a reason to rock it out. Someone is celebrating "Not a Father's Day". Although, you have to wonder if it was his kickin' dance moves that got him laid in the first place. And then, one step further, you have to wonder what the actual baby-daddy is like...

Remember, always practice safe lunch. Use a condiment.

What happens to your food?

You've got to wonder...if this is what happens when you microwave something, what happens with all the hot pockets, pizza rolls, and random leftovers you microwave? Perhaps this is just a glimpse of the world underneath, the true reality...you know, Constantine style.

Or, it could be some cool CGI...

Denis Leary speaketh truth

Here's the newest Hulu ad. And like Denis told me to do, I'm adding it to my "bliggity blog" and my "facey spaces". After all this, I am starting to wonder if Hulu is just here to take over the world.

So in 2007, a 36 year old executive (Jason Kilar) and a 26 year old developer (Eric Feng) created hulu with a team of 8 in less than 2 months. Hulu is projected to make about $175 million this year, up from $65 million with a 18% profit margin ($12 million). Basically, while I'm bliggity blogging, I have apparently been a "20 something year old Eric FAIL".

Now excuse me, I'm going to go find the Hulu app for my iphone...

Home Security Tips

from "The Onion"

With the exception of your children, your home is your most precious possession. Here are some tips to help keep it safe from would-be intruders:

• If you spot a minority in your gated community who is not holding a leafblower or other lawn-care device, call your local police immediately.
  
• When going on vacation, be sure to leave the oven on. This will fool people into thinking you are home.
  
• When a suspicious stranger knocks at your door, reply in a falsetto voice, "Ain't nobody here but us chickens."
  
• Leave a glass of milk and plate of cookies on kitchen table with a note reading "For burglars." Poison the cookies.
  
• The best way to prevent burglary is to avoid keeping valuables lying around. Leave your six-bedroom mansion unfurnished, then shower, sleep and change clothes at the YMCA only.
  
• Surround your house with an impenetrable labyrinth of enchanted briars.
  
• Make your home unappealing to burglars by smearing windows and doors with your own feces.
  
• If a stranger rings your doorbell, only talk to him if you have a handgun jammed down his throat.
  
• Keep several cauldrons of boiling oil on your ramparts at all times.
  
• Before going to bed, spread broken glass on your floors. Use a ratio of one pound for every five square feet, and leave yourself a path to the bathroom.
  
• Rig your home with an electronic timer to randomly switch lights on and off every 15 seconds.
  
• Place a large, highly visible "No Radio" sign in the front window of your home.
  
• Kids should never tell a stranger who calls that they are home alone. Have them say, "Mom and dad are too busy fucking to come to the phone."
  
• If you accidentally shoot a neighbor you mistake for a burglar, drag him inside and get his prints on a steak knife.
  
• Keep your wife's expensive jewelry hidden deep within her anal column.
  
• A handgun is of no use unless it is easily accessible in an emergency. Make sure your spouse and children know where it is at all times.
  
• Protect your prized Precious Moments figurines with an elaborate network of lasers.
• Pile valuables in center of living-room floor. Sit on pile holding double-barreled shotgun. Do not sleep.