The real reason for Earth Day

So, I've discovered the real reason for Earth Day. It's to basically beg Mother Nature not to rise up and "strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger". And by furious anger, I mean let this monster loose. This thing terrifies more than the demonic love child of Aliens and the smoke monster from LOST. If it is ever released from an aquarium, or decided it doesn't need water to breathe anymore, I'm driving down to Washington to ask the President to drop the 82nd Airborne on it. It's the single greatest argument in favor of nuclear bombs, weaponized ebola, and praying for Jesus to smite something. I mean Old Testament, pillar of salt style.

To recap, this thing is a:

• 4 foot long sea worm...and by worm...it looks like a centipede.
• It has thousands of stingers, any of which can permanently numb a human being
• It has natural zinc metal deposits in its teeth. It has metal teeth.
• It can bite through coral, 20 lb fishing line, fish
• It can digest metal fish hooks. It probably just adds the metal to its teeth!

At least it's still in England and we're separated by the Ocean. Oh wait, it's a fucking ocean worm.

Nature is pissed...and is sending this thing after you.
(Picture from UK Daily Mail)

"Hello, let me numb you completely and then bite through your spine. In half."
(Picture from UK Daily Mail)